Daydreamer Black

Daydreamer Black

The Real Reason Success is so Elusive (hint: It's not Fear of Success.)

I'm guessing you spend a certain amount of time daydreaming...

Daydreaming of what it will be like when you hit 'the big time.' When your finances are really abundant. When you become well-known in your field. When you make that next big step, whatever it is.

Dreams of lolling around on silk sheets with peeled grapes and fizzy drinks. Dreams of giving away as generously as you've always wanted to. Dreams coming true.

Why are those dreams so elusive?

Comfort is the problem.

Living those dreams seems so... comfortable, doesn't it? Having all you need, an abundant generosity, and so forth. Living the good life, you would think, is very comfortable.

But, it's not. At least not at first.

How can that be? Well, let's look at what comfort is. Merriam-Webster defines comfort, in part, as "Contented well-being. A satisfying or enjoyable experience."

For most of us, contented well-being, or a satisfying or enjoyable experience has to do with familiarity. When things are familiar, we tend to be more comfortable. The more unfamiliar things get, the less comfortable we become.

Get into a situation that's very unfamiliar, and you can end up feeling panicked, overwhelmed, disoriented. Don't believe me?

Not all parties are fun.

Let's say you're invited to a party. And you get dressed up in the best you have. But, when you show up, everyone is dressed even better. Black tie, tuxedos, evening gowns. Caviar everywhere. What's more, you don't really know anyone.

Would you have what it takes to stand on the threshold of that party, see all the tuxedos, the unfamiliar faces, to look down at yourself as underdressed, and still walk in?

I bet that you could muster up what it takes. But I'm also betting that you'd feel uncomfortable, not having fun, until you found someone you liked in a comfortable corner, and started to settle down.

As human beings, we can only handle so much unfamiliarity, before the adrenalin overwhelms us, and we start to shut down.

Success is uncomfortable.

If you have goals you are wanting to reach, then, by definition, you aren't there yet. You live in your life as it is now, and your daydreams, your successful life is somewhere else. Maybe even somewhere you've never been.

It's unfamiliar territory. Which means, by definition, that it's uncomfortable.

Personal success story: Fear and overwhelm.

You can ask my mastermind group what happened to me when Heart of Business started flying financially. Joy and celebration? Easy street?

No way, Jose. A strange, unnerving feeling in my belly and my chest. Disorienting. An inclination to sob at times, without knowing exactly why.

It took a couple of months to re-orient, and feel comfortable in our new surroundings.

How do you get up the nerve to enter the success party?

Well, a Sufi teaching leads the way. Read:

Keys to Success

About the Author

Mark Silver is the author of Unveiling the Heart of Your Business: How Money, Marketing and Sales can Deepen Your Heart, Heal the World, and Still Add to Your Bottom Line. He has helped hundreds of small business owners around the globe succeed in business without lousing their hearts. Get three free chapters of the book online: www.heartofbusiness.com

Daydreamer